Sienna Miller sues over topless photos with Balthazar Getty

Sienna Miller is one great big bundle of contradictions. Or a hypocrite, depending on how you want to put it. The woman is barely able to keep her top on. I cannot think of any celebrity whose breasts I’ve seen so often I could pick them out of a lineup. And though she seems physically incapable of keeping her shirt on in public, Sienna Miller is suing over the slew of boobie pics of late – and there have been tons. Taken on multiple occasions.

Sienna Miller is suing two media organizations over the topless photos of her vacationing with new beau Balthazar Getty.

According to London’s The Guardian, she claims photo agency Big Pictures and British tabloids News of the World and the Sun violated her privacy by publishing photos and stories about her new romance.

The suit comes days after Getty announced he and his wife Rosetta (with whom he has four children) have separated. In a statement, the actor said “the breakdown of a marriage is a very difficult and painful experience especially when children are involved.” He added that the photos that “have surfaced in print and on the Internet” have “caused myself and my family great embarrassment.”

[From Us Weekly]

Sienna doesn’t just have a history of walking around al fresco, she also has a long history of suing photographers over it. And winning. I’m not saying the woman doesn’t have a right to privacy. And I’m not saying she shouldn’t be able to walk around topless where it’s legal, if that’s what she wants to do. But it’s just about publicity.

If Miller really didn’t want her nipples splashed across the pages of The Sun, then she should keep them behind a nice peasant top. It’s crazy how that works. If you keep your nipples to yourself, photographers won’t take pictures of them. If you go outdoors and shove them into your boyfriend’s hands, photographers will take pictures of them. It’s a pretty simple equation, really.

I hope this lawsuit gets thrown out. It makes me think of the morbidly obese man who sued Wendy’s restaurants because the booths weren’t large enough for him to sit in. As the judge pointed out, the man was too large for the booths, it wasn’t that the booths are too small. Thus the man was ordered by the judge to lose weight (though I’m not saying that was necessarily an appropriate solution in that case).

Similarly, Sienna seems to have confused the essential issue here. It’s not like photographers were snapping pictures of here walking around inside her house naked. She was outdoors on a boat. And on a deck. And a couple other places. She’s been shirtless so often lately that it’s hard to keep track. The judge should order her to keep her top on in public. Or take it off, for all I care. She just needs to stop complaining about the logical result of her actions.